Fuck Your OC!
by MischaPallasAthenaKitsune
Summary: A satirical tale of demi-gods, or writers, chasing each other through various anime worlds. YOU can be a part of the story! Inquire inside. Currently rated for language. Het warning.


AN: I don't own Naruto.

Back home. Back home, I am nothing.

Well, I'm something. 'She's something, alright,' the people who know me would say. 'Something sick', 'something not quite right', who the fuck cares.

Here, I'm loved. Well, maybe not loved, but valued. I have friends. Most of which are twice my age, but that's never stopped me before.

I've lived here for seventeen years and seen more than my share of troubles, but so has every other shinobi. Here, my name is Kurisu. It's that simple. No last name, I never bothered. I was orphaned like every other mary-sue who passes through here. So what if I took the easy way out? Hey, fuck you.

I used to be what is called a 'bookman', one of those writers/demi-gods who tries to preserve the basic integrity of the worlds god(author, artist)'s vision. Used to be. Back when I had an ounce of decency left in me. But seeing all these tramps sidle up to and try to get cozy with the men I'd grown to love must've made something snap in me. How dare they sully my men's good names with, blech, romance?! Oh well. I guess it's my turn now.

My friends in this world are something awesome, often overlooked by others of my status (demi-god).

First, there's Raido Namiashi. You remember him, don't you? That Special-Jonin with the simply dashing scar across his face? Heh. Well, I think it's dashing. Adds character. He was thirty-one when we met just four years ago, and took me (only thirteen at the time) under his wing. After all, I was just another orphaned kunoichi in need of guidance. As strict and methodical as he seems on the surface, he's actually a fun-loving guy who enjoys hiking, rock-climbing and just having a beer with his friends. Beer, sake, whatever. It's all alcohol.

Then, there's Ibiki Morino. Raido introduced me to him on a personal level shortly after I passed my chunin exam. At first, he really didn't like the idea of getting to know a fifteen year old girl on a personal level. But, after I socked him in the jaw, surprising him, Raido and Genma by knocking the larger man on his ass, he burst out laughing. We've been close ever since.

Genma Shiranui is a real pretty-boy. I'm surprised he's not more of a hit with the ladies. But, as easy-going as he seems, he takes his job seriously, so that doesn't leave much time for Ibiki and I. He's always with Raido, Hell, they're the Hokage's elite bodyguards.

Aoba and Tonbo join us for drinks on occasion, but I wouldn't really call them my friends. I'd call them friendly aquaintances.

I only have one friend here close to my age and that is Hinata Hyuuga. She and I grew up together, not that anyone would know. We were friends at the academy and just stayed close ever since. I think it's partially due to the fact that we both seem to enjoy the 'stalker' method of crushing on people. Her with that loveable loud-mouth, Naruto, and me with her teammate, Shino. He hasn't noticed me to date and Hinata is the only one who knows that I have these feelings for the young Aburame.

I don't know why I took on Hinata's horrible approach to romance here. It's probably because of a small part of me that wants to remain true to my old bookman ways. Meh, I'll come out of my shell around him some day.

But I'm excited for today. I'm going on my first big mission with Ibiki. This is where my story picks up! No more hiding in the background.

Yes, I already know what happens. I'm writing my own story, just like all those other skanks.

It will go well, for me. Ibiki, not so much. He still thinks I'm naive and need to be protected. He'll take a kunai for me, but only in the leg. We'll have a good laugh about it over drinks later with Genma, Raido and Anko(who I don't particularly like). I'll wrap my lean, yet muscular enough to knock the bigger man on his ass, arms around his broad shoulders and kiss those scarred lips. Maybe I'll get some. Or maybe he'll have a problem with bedding a seventeen year old. Yeah, he's a respectable guy. He won't have sex with me. In his drunken state, I could make him forget all about my age, but I won't. I'll chicken out, like always.

Hey, I never said I wasn't one of those skanks.

xoxo

AN: I've been wanting to do this story for quite some time. I see all those stories with the OC's and they get my blood boiling. So! I thought I'd do a story that pokes fun at OC's in a dark way and invite my fellow writers to join me! PM me if you are interested. I hope I can get enough people interested in weaving a tale of people chasing each other through dimensions, trying to scare them off of "their bishies".


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